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Fertility is a private and intimate topic by nature. The project of building a family is often kept secret until the pregnancy is announced. Assuming it’s a happy journey for everyone, close family and friends don’t always find the right words when bringing up the topic. Here are tips to share with them to educate and coach how to best discuss the topic with people for whom it’s taking longer.
Our best communication tips:
1. Best is to not ask about it:
For couples taking longer to conceive, a few comments or conversation can be triggering, for example asking “When are the kids coming?” at the dinner table can be poorly received by future parents met with challenges and creates unnecessary social pressure.
2. Only couples having experienced infertility can truly understand:
Despite having the best intentions, family and friends not having experienced the long wait don’t fully understand the emotions experienced on a fertility journey. Most couples will do extensive research on the topic and the reasons for infertility can be various.
3. Don’t try to convince them they can be happy without children:
Being told you can be happy without children is very saddening for couples trying to conceive. If they are engaged deeply on a fertility journey, contemplating a life without children is the last thing they want to hear. Showing them support and words of encouragement is the best way to support them.
4. Read about the topic of infertility to become a better support:
Infertility is a complex topic. If you are trying to support close ones on that path, doing reading on your own on fertility protocols and reasons can be a good way to educate yourself and understand what the couple is going through.
Leading with empathy
When supporting couples on a fertility journey, empathy should always come first. Active listening plays a crucial role here. Simple responses like “That sounds really tough” or “I can see why you’d feel that way” can go a long way. Creating a safe and judgment-free space allows couples to share openly. Sometimes, the greatest gift you can offer is presence and compassion, reminding them they don’t have to carry the weight of their journey alone.
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